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SOULutions Newsletter, April 2009 Anger is Life's April Fools Joke It took me several years to figure this out: Blame and anger is Life's way of saying "April Fools!" Every time I got angry or blamed some else, the joke was on me. One day I woke up to the realization that my happiness and peace is an inside job. The joke was (and is) that anytime I felt that negative charge of anger, I was being "triggered." Anytime I felt the impulse to judge or blame, this always pointed back to an unhealed wound within me. It's like walking down a hall and someone accidentally bumps into your arm, and says, "Oh, I'm sorry." If your arm feels fine, you'll most likely say "no problem." On the other hand, imagine that you had a very deep, sensitive bruise on your arm. Your first reaction may very well be to feel angry and say something like "Watch where you are going, you jerk." When you blame the other person for the some innocent accident that you would have completely and lovingly accepted without your bruise, you are really reacting to your internal pain and not the other person. This is your "shadow" and the opportunity for change or what I call, "trance-endence". It reminds me of the 70's song by Roger Daltry of The WHO, "Won't get fooled again ...No, No, No!" None of us like to be taken for a fool and it makes us angry when we think we are. That is what we react to and not the offense itself. Next time you are tempted to get angry and blame, STOP (Stop Trance Of Past) and look inside because the joke's in you! Anger Myths There are many myths surrounding anger and how to manage it. Here is the top three: Myth #1: "Letting it all out" at the person who made you angry makes you feel better. Wrong. This can actually make you angrier and it's not the same as releasing the emotional energy. When you unload your anger on another person by yelling or blaming you are really trying to get them to take responsibility for your anger. Anger goes when you feel it fully, look within yourself for the root cause and then release it. It is then and only then, that you can effectively talk to the offending person about a problem YOU have with their actions. Myth #2: Anger makes you strong. Wrong. Anger and fear are both processed by lower brain functions. When you are angry your I.Q. can drop as much as 20 to 40 points! Anger can take over and cause you to react in ways you would never have thought possible. Myth #3: Talking about your anger towards someone else makes it go away. No, it doesn't. It reinforces it and makes it stronger. Looking at why YOU are reacting to someone else and understanding what is going on inside of you can help release anger. But it can only be released when you understand that anger is caused by internal and not external factors. In Wholeness, |
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